Burnout

Over the last 3-4 years, I've been struggling with an odd mixture of burnout and loneliness. I've made some changes which I think are very helpful, though in turn, I feel more isolated. I want to start new things and meet new people, but it seems like a mountain to climb to get there. When my pastor offered spiritual guidance on Thanksgiving, I snapped up the opportunity. We talked for the first time last night. I confessed to the burden of perfectionism, emotional intelligence, the stress of working and being in a doctoral program, an inability to let go of relationships, and my profound sense of loss created through broken systems and people. He gave me a verse I know well, but in the new voice of The Message.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30

It brought me to tears... of course... after fever, chills, and fatigue I'm in a general state of fragility. But anyway, I've been instructed to ask myself what a real rest would look like... and if any practices exist that would help me learn the unforced rhythms of grace. My pastor even said, "It should be something that sounds... almost fun if not outright fun" This is why I love my pastor (and my church) so much. I've been running along with the weight of 600 laws on me like the Israelites at the point at which Jesus is speaking to them. I've been trained to think that I can only get closer to God if I work at it. When really, God's standing with arms outstretched, saying "Come away with me, recover your life, your laughter, your joy, your confidence. Come be nourished, be filled, be lavished with love."

So here's my invitation to you to let go of the world's burdens, needs, desires and find solace.